Just A List Of Things About TMNT: Shredder’s Revenge, I Promise

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge is a throwback to the good old days of arcade beat-em-ups like Final Fight, Golden Axe, and, well, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Arcade Game. It probably takes the most influence from that last one since they contain the same characters, setting, and creators.

But while TMNT is a gorgeous throwback to the past, the more time I spent with the game, the more I wish I had known before I jumped right in. If I had known then what I know now, I probably would’ve had a much easier time finishing this game.


We all would’ve had an easier time.

Related: “The Supreme Court Can Go F*ck Itself”, How The Games Industry Is Responding To Roe V. Wade

7. Each Character Has Different Strengths And Weaknesses

It’s easy to ignore this when you first pick a character! Some are faster, while others pack a big punch. Think about your preferred way to play before choosing a character. Test out everyone, including your least favorite turtle like Raphael. Hey, just because you’re a fan of Splinter doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll enjoy his slower speed!

6. People In America Lost The Right To Choose Whether Or Not To Keep A Pregnancy

While there hasn’t been talk about DLC yet, only eight days after Shredder’s Revenge was released, the Supreme Court of the United States overturned fifty years of precedent and made it much harder – and in many cases, impossible – for a lot people to get an abortion. Having known this, I might not have spent as much time leading up to the event playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge. Yes, we all knew this decision was coming, but many of us hoped it would come in a less terrible form. That’s the point our country is at: Saying, “Maybe the bad won’t be that bad,” only to find it’s worse.

5. You Should Play The Earlier Ninja Turtles Games To Get All The References

Shredder’s Revenge is absolutely packed with references to the older games in the series. Giving the older TMNT games a play is a great way to prime yourself for a lot of amazing inside jokes and music – I’m loving the Sewer Surfer remix, personally. Plus, those old games are fun! We may not know when the Cowabunga Collection containing thirteen games will come out, but it’ll be a day one download when it does!

4. People Are Going To Literally Die Across The Country Due To Reproductive Rights Being Stripped Away

While we had heard a lot about six-play co-op both online and off, Shredder’s Revenge gave little hint that people across the United States will be afraid to go to the doctor with a pregnancy complication out of fear of being arrested. Meanwhile, some doctors will stop performing certain procedures – even life-saving ones – out of the same exact fear of legal repercussions. Having a miscarriage at home could cause a suspicious neighbor or family member to report you to the law. Rather than a healthcare system that provides equal care to everyone, we have one in which terrified providers can’t help desperate patients. People will die both from medical conditions such as ectopic pregnancies as well as abusive partners. Not to mention those who might end up committing suicide due to the unbearable social and financial pressures connected to forced pregnancy. It will be a nightmare.

3. You Can Charge Your Power Attack Bar While “GO!” Is On The Screen

If the game is shouting, “GO!” your natural inclination is to start walking, right? But hold up just a minute! There’s no enemies on the screen. Time for a break. Take a breath and hold down your taunt button to build up your power meter while nobody is attacking you. This comes in handy – especially once you start unlocking additional power meters later in the game. Make boss fights easier and take every pause you can to rest, relax, and literally recharge.

2. They’re Going To Use The Supreme Court’s Ruling To Come After More Rights

This won’t stop at abortion. They’re already targeting gay marriage. They’re ready to allow states to tell you if you can use contraceptives in your own home. Even if you think that this doesn’t affect you, it will. Someone in your life probably already has benefited from the ability to control their own bodies and you just don’t know because it’s none of your fucking business. But due to the broken nature of the American legal system, it’ll likely take years or decades – if ever – to fix. Considering the court’s recent tearing down of the separation of church and state, we’re about to go on a real shit roller coaster.

1. You Can Unlock Casey Jones By Finishing Story Mode On Any Difficulty

America’s favorite hockey-based sidekick is back, and better than ever!

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